September has always been my favorite month. The kids go back to school, the seasons shift as summer turns to autumn, and I get another year older. But this year, it’s not just any birthday—I’ve hit quite the milestone.
I’m 50.
Now that I’ve reached this milestone, I decided to challenge myself and reflect on the 50 years I’ve lived so far. In doing so, I wanted to dig deep and share 50 life lessons that I’ve learned along the way—lessons from doing, from experiencing, from failing, and from growing.
At one time, 50 seemed so old, but now that it’s here, I realize it’s just a tally of days lived. Whether it feels young or old is really about where you are in life and how you perceive it. It certainly doesn’t seem as old to me now as it did when I was in my 20s or even 30s. I’ve come to appreciate that age is just a part of the journey, not something to measure life by.
These lessons I’m about to share weren’t handed to me. They’ve come from living. I’ve learned from successes and mistakes, from moments of joy and hardship, from clients and colleagues, and from friends and family. Each lesson has been a part of shaping who I am today.
I don’t see this list as complete. There will always be more to learn—always new experiences that will shift my perspective. I look forward to updating this list in the years to come, and one day, I hope to share it with my sons as they grow and face the world. May these lessons guide them as they mature.
So, without further ado, here’s my list of 50 life lessons:
It’s surprising how rarely people receive genuine appreciation for who they are and what they do. That’s why I’ve made it a personal mission to take a moment and offer heartfelt compliments whenever I can.
We all have a deep need for validation and recognition, even if we don’t always admit it. I’ve witnessed firsthand how a sincere compliment has the power to uplift spirits, boost self-esteem, and brighten someone’s day. It’s a small gesture that can make a profound impact on their confidence and overall well-being.
11. The person who hates the politician you love has more in common with you than the politician.
It’s a divisive time right now and for some reason people are aligning themselves with a political party over their family, friends, and neighbors. I’ve spent time with politicians… believe me when I tell you, they don’t care about the ideology or you.
12. You can’t be what you don’t see. Life’s a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death.
Have experiences, go on adventures, see how other people live.
13. The wisest know they know nothing.
Wisdom comes from being open to learning, not thinking you have all the answers.
14. Anyone who wants to run for public office shouldn’t be elected.
Items 11, 15, and 24 fuse into this one.
15. Learn to spot narcissists & psychopaths early & avoid them.
These are dangerous people and no good comes from them. Learn to spot them– they have very specific personality traits. As soon as you recognize one, stay far away.
16. Japanese Chins make the best pets.
They rarely bark, don’t drool, do not require long walks, and have very small poops.
17. Your thoughts shape your reality—stay positive.
Need I say more?
18. Smile—and practice with a mirror.
Smiling puts people at ease. Invest time practicing your facial movements in a mirror. You may think you are smiling but it’s being perceived as a grimace or snarl. For years I wondered why people avoided me and thought I was angry. Turned out I had resting bitch face. That discovery and the push to better control my resting face has made a positive difference in how others react to me.
19. Perfectionism is procrastination.
Perfectionism stops progress. I experienced this firsthand while writing my first eBook. I couldn’t finish it because I was caught up in trying to make it perfect. Every day I hunted for typos and grammatical errors was another day that I wasn’t selling copies or empowering people with the message I wanted to share. It doesn’t have to be flawless, but it does need to be released. The sooner you embrace that, the sooner you can make an impact.
20. Ask forgiveness, not permission.
Take bold action. Don’t wait for permission—trust your instincts and go for it. The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me?
21. Mistakes mean you’re trying—keep pushing.
Failure isn’t a stop, it’s a step… on the path to success. As a child, I was taught that failure was a bad thing and something to be avoided… which meant I didn’t take chances or risks. It took me a long time to realize that by avoiding failure, I was also avoiding success.
22. Talent is made, not born. Practice!
Growing up, I believed that talent is something you’re born with and because of that, I gave up far too easily on many things. It was after a conversation I had with a musician that made me realize that talent is honed through consistent effort and practice. Thankfully I learned this lesson because whether it’s writing, public speaking, or running a business, I wasn’t great at any of these things from the start. It took time, practice, and persistence to get where I am today. The key is to keep showing up and putting in the work.
23. Respect everyone.
Treat people with respect. All people. Every single person out there, has value and worth. Maybe they look different, maybe they made bad choices, maybe they speak differently, it doesn’t matter, treat them with respect.
24. Don’t idolize people—stay grounded.
Respect people but don’t worship them. They are all human and have foibles and issues. Be inspired by them, be motivated by them, but do not worship or idolize. Your focus should be on you, your family, your life, your sphere.
25. Ask for help—it’s okay.
People want to help you. And people will like you more after they help you.
26. Success starts with showing up.
You want success? Show up. Things are happening everywhere. Show up for it. Get off your couch, get out of your house.
27. Scrape your tongue
Buy a tongue scraper and after brushing your teeth, run the scraper over your tongue. You will be shocked at what comes off. Not only does this help with breath odor, I swear ever since I started scraping my tongue, I rarely get sick.
28. Always have a financial safety net.
Having immediate access to funds gives you the freedom to make decisions from a place of security, not desperation.
29. Leave toxic situations fast.
It’s easier to leave toxic situations fast when you follow item #28. I see it every day. People working in toxic workplaces because they need their salary. People sticking with a toxic lover/spouse because they think they have to… You get what you allow, so don’t allow it. Fix the situation.
30. Prepare for what you want—act like it’s already yours.
If you want something, make room for it in your life. Buy the clothes you need for it. Inhabit it before you have it and believe you already have it.
31. Love, forgive, know, and believe in yourself.
The way you treat yourself sets the standard for how others treat you. If you don’t believe in your own worth, it’s hard to expect others to.
32. People aren’t thinking about you as much as you think.
Most people are caught up in their own lives. Relax and focus on what matters to you.
33. Stand up straight. Don’t slouch.
Posture matters. Not just for how you look, but for how you feel. Standing tall gives you confidence and helps others see your strength.
34. Choose your battles.
Do you want to be right or happy? It’s not always worth engaging in every conflict. Know when to let things go.
35. It is your fault—and that’s okay.
Taking responsibility for your life is empowering. No one’s coming to save you, so be your own hero and move forward.
36. Drink your coffee black.
Skip the sugar and the fancy extras. It’s better for your health and makes you the badass versus the person adding sugar and cream.
37. Name your feelings.
Fear and excitement feel similar, and the difference often comes down to what we call them. Label your emotions thoughtfully, and you might see things differently.
38. Put your blinders on.
My dad told me this all the time. There will always be distractions and unsolicited opinions. Stay focused on your own path, and don’t let others derail your progress.
39. Dream big—go after it!
At the end of my dad’s life, he told me his biggest regret was that he didn’t dream big enough. Don’t be afraid to aim high. Most people stop themselves before they even start. There’s room at the top for those who dare to dream.
40. Don’t pit your kids against each other—build unity.
Competition is good but support your children and do everything to make them best friends and supporters of each other, not competitors, not enemies.
41. We are all going to die—everything may mean nothing tomorrow, but it means something today.
Everyone we love will die. We will be forgotten. Everything we worried about, stressed over and exerted so much energy on will mean nothing. This doesn’t mean that nothing matters. It matters NOW. It matters to YOU today.
42. Someone’s always better or worse off—your experience is still valid.
My hairdresser recently lost a beloved ring and cried while searching for it. A woman in the salon snapped, “Why are you crying over a stupid ring? People are dying in Israel!” Yes, there’s immense pain and suffering in the world, but that ring meant something to her. Someone else’s pain doesn’t negate your own. Every experience is valid, no matter how small it seems in comparison.
43. Make eye contact, listen, engage.
It’s the simplest way to connect with people. Be present in every interaction.
44. Invest in yourself.
Whether it’s education, self-care, or therapy, make yourself the best version possible. You’re worth it.
45. Know your standards and stick to them.
What you accept is what you allow. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve.
46. Trust your gut.
Your instincts often know the answer before your brain does. Listen to them.
47. A clean space clears the mind.
Physical clutter leads to (and is often a sign of) mental clutter. Take time to tidy up—it’s refreshing and healing.
48. Dress well & get respected.
People treat you based on how you present yourself. Dress the part, and the respect follows. My mother always said to me, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”
49. No one really knows what they’re doing.
We’re all figuring it out as we go. Don’t let that stop you from moving forward.
50. Don’t let others define your reality—own your story.
Own your story, define your brand, and be deliberate in what you put out into the world so no one else dictates your direction.
These lessons represent not just 50 years of life but a commitment to continual growth. Every mistake, every triumph, every client interaction has taught me something valuable.
As I continue to learn and grow, I look forward to adding to this list. And someday, when my sons are ready to face the world on their own, I hope these lessons help guide them.
Strategy, templates, videos, downloads, and tools — all designed to help you take confident, intentional steps toward the future you want.
Learn More
Input your search keywords and press Enter.
